Friday, January 24, 2014

A Feeling Of My Life Wasted

Book Two - eTimeline - January 24, 2014
There are many women out there in the world who probably feel the same way I do when it comes to feeling "I wasted my life trying to make this business plan work or I wasted my life on someone or something that wasn't worth my time and effort or my patience."  In a whole lot of ways, I feel like I robbed myself of a life I could of, or should of have- if would of taken chances to enjoy what life had to offer me, in order to make myself happy.  I admit...I'm not happy!  God and my son Zachary are the only sources that are keeping me a float.  I fault myself for my life wasted!  I regret every day I didn't take chances - or the opportunity to make things work for me and for my life and my son's life.  These are my indiscretions:  1. Relationship - I pushed away a good man.  I admit to that as my first indiscretion.  2. Mapping out a plan for myself - where I want to be - what I want to do with my life - now that I have a son...whom I really need to think about when it comes to providing the best of opportunities life has to offer.  That is a goal I would like to achieve!  3. Building up the courage to bring myself out my shell of insecurities - when it comes to relationships - making things like my (business plan and promoting it to the public without feeling afraid of being rejected, publishing my first two manuscripts - "The Minorities, The Pilot and The Minorities, Richard's Demise." There was so much I could have done with life if I would have given myself a chance - come out of my shell of insecurities - believed in myself more.  I know I would have been happy with my life, if I would take those chances to do just that.  I'm 44 years old...and I've never had a stable relationship with anyone.  "I consider myself - practically - an 'old maid' without a cause!"  I thought I had a stable relationship with my son's father, but...I was sadly mistaken!  I pray for happiness - I pray for guidance - I pray for understanding for myself - so I can give every opportunity of a good life to my son, Zachary.  I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore!  I know I need to get off my butt and make things happen - make my life work for my son's sake.  I know it's not going to be peaches and cream, but...I need to build up my self-confidence and self-esteem to make a difference in this cruel world.  I'm so tired of failing!  I trust in the 'Name of our Lord' to bring me out of what I call - "misery!"  I will finally be happy for a change, I know I will!

Open Discussion


  1. I can only t let the Lord know that I will make a difference in my life, if I trust in him, In the name of Jesus.

  2. Pray about it the lord will make a way for you

  3. Praying as hard as I can and trusting in the LORD to help me build my self esteem up and my confidence. You commenting is awesome.


As Always...Open Discussion