Book Two - eTimeline - January 24, 2014
There are many women out there in the world who probably feel the same way I do when it comes to feeling "I wasted my life trying to make this business plan work or I wasted my life on someone or something that wasn't worth my time and effort or my patience." In a whole lot of ways, I feel like I robbed myself of a life I could of, or should of have- if would of taken chances to enjoy what life had to offer me, in order to make myself happy. I admit...I'm not happy! God and my son Zachary are the only sources that are keeping me a float. I fault myself for my life wasted! I regret every day I didn't take chances - or the opportunity to make things work for me and for my life and my son's life. These are my indiscretions: 1. Relationship - I pushed away a good man. I admit to that as my first indiscretion. 2. Mapping out a plan for myself - where I want to be - what I want to do with my life - now that I have a son...whom I really need to think about when it comes to providing the best of opportunities life has to offer. That is a goal I would like to achieve! 3. Building up the courage to bring myself out my shell of insecurities - when it comes to relationships - making things like my (business plan and promoting it to the public without feeling afraid of being rejected, publishing my first two manuscripts - "The Minorities, The Pilot and The Minorities, Richard's Demise." There was so much I could have done with life if I would have given myself a chance - come out of my shell of insecurities - believed in myself more. I know I would have been happy with my life, if I would take those chances to do just that. I'm 44 years old...and I've never had a stable relationship with anyone. "I consider myself - practically - an 'old maid' without a cause!" I thought I had a stable relationship with my son's father, but...I was sadly mistaken! I pray for happiness - I pray for guidance - I pray for understanding for myself - so I can give every opportunity of a good life to my son, Zachary. I don't want to feel sorry for myself anymore! I know I need to get off my butt and make things happen - make my life work for my son's sake. I know it's not going to be peaches and cream, but...I need to build up my self-confidence and self-esteem to make a difference in this cruel world. I'm so tired of failing! I trust in the 'Name of our Lord' to bring me out of what I call - "misery!" I will finally be happy for a change, I know I will!