Tuesday, March 18, 2014

My Day "Unbalanced!"

Book Seven - eTimeline - March 14, 2014

My day started off rough, I was to be at a appointment under a federal housing program at nine o'clock a.m. this morning.  I wasn't all that happy starting off my day - my actions - was from an incident that happened the day before when I had to go to Tampa to get a copy of my son Zachary's support payments to finish restating my housing project.  I had gotten my son on the bus to school - my great niece, Ta'Neisha had just arrived ten minutes before her bus. She seemed unhappy when she walk up to my apartment.  I asked her, "What's wrong Ta'Neisha! Are you okay?". She wanted to attend a school birthday bash.  Ta'Neisha had no money to buy food and tickets for the concessions.  So...she could not attend the school's birthday bash, she cried extensively.  I felt so sorry for her at that time.  I went back into my apartment and waited on my niece to pick me up to take me to my federal housing appointment.  I ate breakfast and I rested before my niece arrived. I looked at a movie.  Forty five minutes later, my niece arrived thirty minutes before I was to be at my appointment, she didn't look like she wanted to take me to my appointment.  She looked like she was very aggravated, I decided I wouldn't say a word to her to provoke her or aggregate her in any way or cost of getting her more aggravated that she is already.  I for one don't have time for drama.  My niece proceed to take me to my federal housing appointment, she thought the main housing building was where I needed to go, I informed her it wasn't, "she seemed upset she I told her where I need to go was on housing boulevard" I apologized to her immediately!  My thoughts were, when we arrived at the federal housing building , I told my niece, "I will take the bus home - no need to worry about me anymore today." I waved her and told her she can go back home - no need of wait on me! I felt as though - I was a burden to her anyway.  I felt so bad afterwards! I went into the federal building for my appointment - I didn't have long to wait. As soon as I sat, I was called for my appointment. I thought, "that was quick and then I was in tears" she I went into the office with my case worker.  Its was a short, but sweet interview about my (proof of income, child support, my sons social security information, copy of my electric bill etc.) And then I was done.  Afterwards, I went out the Federal housing building with twenty minutes to spare for my bus route - I had time to spare to go to the Dollar General store to buy some personals.  Afterwards, I proceed to my bus route with five minutes to spare.  I got on the bus with tears in my eyes and no one notice - I wasn't paying attention to it and it was fine with me.  I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me.  I his my feelings with tissue - constantly keeping the tears from rolling down my face.  My thoughts were, I just wanted my niece to love me - that's all.  My nephews always show me love and compassion and that's why I can get along with them more.  My niece, Octavia, is a mystery, I don't know what she's thinking, or feeling - since she never speaks to me about anything or stops by my apartment once in a while to say, "hello auntie - how are you feeling - do you need anything - do you need to go anywhere - things like that." I get all of those things from my nephews and I thank GOD for them being in my life and showing me they love me - Chris does the same for me and I appreciate him too, but Octavia, I need help and unsolved mysteries to help me solve her dislike for me - at lease that's the way I see it.   So my feelings for her is mutual - don't get me wrong, I love her so much, its just I don't like the way I feel around her - her vibes are too much for me to cope with - I don't know how to reach her or find her in the mist of fog that surrounds her - I can't cut through the fog with a knife - its too thick.  These are my thoughts while my journey home on the bus.  My tears are dried and I didn't want to fell sorry for myself anymore, its not worth my time or patient ice anymore.  I'm tired of trying with her. "I'm so tired!" I will depend on my nephews who love me more than she ever will.  They make me very happy.  I finally made to the terminal on the bus, I got off and preceded to my bus - route 45 - got on - on my journey home.


No comments:

Post a Comment

As Always...Open Discussion